How Can There Be So Much Hate?

I admit that I watch trash television. I used to love good fight between Ronnie and Sammi, and while they were annoying, it definitely kept me going back for me. I know there always has been, and always will be violence, but I truly feel that television is perpetuating a lot of it.

I left work disgusted after watching the video on change.org's site about the transgendered woman who was brutally beaten at a Baltimore McDonald's while employees instigated and video-tapped. Actually, disgusted doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I was angry, sad, frustrated, even resentful. I thought about how those women who beat her and the employees deserved to get their own asses kicked. I mean, they beat her until she had a seizure! How can someone who doesn't know you from Adam or Eve have so much hate for you?

I know that television is not completely to blame, but the employee's who recorded the vicious attack probably just wanted their ten mins of fame, or to make money off of their youtube hits. When Real World first came out, if there was even a hint of violence, that person was thrown off the show. Now, they need it to survive the ratings. Have we, as a culture, become more violent, or are we just more tolerant of it? Either way, it makes me sad to think about having kids. Besides bullying, stereotyping, discrimination, we now have to worry about if a stranger hates you for looking/being different and beating  the shit out of you.

I hope that the national attention that this has been receiving really opens the eyes of bigots everywhere that . And I pray that the woman who was beaten has a fast physical recovery. I cannot even fathom the emotional trauma that she will continue to go through. And I hope one day, we can all get along....

Institute of Higher Education Policy

Yesterday's trip to the Institute of Higher Education Policy was enlightening and informative. I went in with a preconceived notion that IHEP primarily receives their funding from institutions, not even considering corporations. I realize now how naive that thought really is; especially in the poor economic climate we are in. Dr. Michelle Cooper, the president of IHEP discussed how she only knows how to operate in this economy. I am now fascinated by the way non-profits work and really would like to have a better understanding of IHEP in particular.

The "Changing the Debate" initiative with the support of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has three main areas; one of which is on incarcerated individuals in higher education. I am intrigued by this because my Mom works with incarcerated juvenile males. These students are working towards their high school diploma, but if they qualify, they can also take community college courses (which is paid for by the state).  My Mom has always talked about how rewarding her job is because a lot of these students never even had a chance. Her position is to work with the students who are entering the system (court mandated) and as they are about to be released. I've listened to her recount the stories of her students (never divulging any personal information) and how some told her they would not earn their GED, diploma, or have access to college if they hadn't been incarcerated. I decided to look up the demographics and 71.5% are African American, 21.5% are White, and 7% are Latino and the majority of students are from Eastern region of the state. The IHEP initiative focuses on adults, but I would be interested to see if there was a way to track incarcerated teens to see if the college-bound programs work.

I was impressed with the amount of research and publications IHEP produces with such a small team, but after listening to all of our panelists, its not a surprise. Ed, Shannon, Noel and Michelle were very articulate and I did sense a true amount of passion and fascination from each. It was a great trip and I look forward to continuing to read about their research and influence on policy.

Think Before You Speak

We were making a great headway in today's International Week session "Am I the Only One?"...when the fire alarm went off. When we arrived, we were immediately thrown into an activity to break the ice and make people chat with others whom they did not already know. The idea behind the game was to see if you are able to find common ground with someone who looks completely different from you.

After everyone was done and were back in their seats, we listened to a panel talk about their experiences of feeling alone and questioning '"Am I the only one?" Listening to the stories of how the panelist had to learn how to accept multiple identities and yet not be the only representative when they were in the minority was sobering. One student talked of being discriminated against because of being Iranian and Christian. Another student went from an HACU (Hispanic Association of Colleges and Universities) to an Ivy where she did not feel respected, and being confused with the one other Latina in her program. The last student talked about how she had to learn to live with her identity of being a Saudi woman in America who does not adhere to traditional customs that you would find in Saudi Arabia. However, she said when she goes back she is completely espouses what a traditional Muslim woman is "supposed to". It was fascinating to hear the strength and reconciliation of their multiple identities.

The biggest thing I took away from this session is something that I honestly feel I was brought up with. Every person can have their own identity, but is important to listen; approach every interaction as a teachable and learn-able moment. If you are cloaked in aggression, the likelihood you will be listened too is low. But if you are assertive, yet accommodating, the conversation will go much smoother. Being cognizant of what you are representing is just as important as how you are representing it. And acknowledging that you are not able to speak for everyone except for yourself, is the most important way to communicate.

White Priviledge

I have always thought that I am treated well because I am a nice person. Could it actually be, though, that I am treated well because I am white? I took a few days after reading the article White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh before I wrote this post. I paid especially close attention to how others treated me verses someone who was Black or Hispanic. Yesterday morning was  one of the most egregious encounter of White Privilege I have ever witnessed... I arrived to Ihop with one of my best friends (who is also white) seconds after a Black couple. But to my dismay, the hostess asked my friend how many was in our party before acknowledging the couple. My friend wasn't paying attention and opened her mouth to answer when I  and cut her off. I told the hostess the couple was there before we were and they should be on the list before us. The hostess herself, was African American. She politely apologized and got the couple's name to wait to be seated, then got ours. The couple turned and thanked me. But I really do not want to be thanked because instances like that just should not happen.

But then I when I got home and signed on facebook to do some cyber investigations, I saw a post that absolutely horrified me. My friend Jerry, an African American male (gay), overheard his white female neighbors talking in the hallway about their fear of being raped by a "big black dude." Jerry is extremely muscular because he plays professional tennis, and is taller than the average man--one could say that he is a "big black dude." He thought about how to/if he should react after overhearing the conversation and decided to write  a note (see left). Jerry did not want to assume his neighbor was talking about him, but he thought it was best to address it so if anything, the neighbor would be ashamed of herself. The thing that is most disturbing to me about the conversation that was overheard was that race was even brought up. As a female, I can understand the fear of being raped, but it is traumatic  regardless if the perpetrator is White, Hispanic, Black, Asian, Purple, or Gray.

I have been thinking about all of the examples of White Privilege used in McIntosh's article, and started coming up with my own list (many of which were redundant). For instance:

• I am pretty sure no one thinks twice about when I get in line behind them to use the ATM.
• People do not generally cross the street when I am walking towards them, or do not walk faster when I am behind them.
• I can be sure that waiters or waitresses will not want to pass up my table in fear of not receiving a tip. (This was from a conversation I heard on the radio one morning where restaurant employees called in and said they would draw straws, or rock-paper-scissors to see who would have to wait on the African American or Latino tables...absolutely appalling.)
• If I want to buy a doll for my niece, I will be able to find a plethora that will look just like her.
• I can walk into a hotel elevator without being asked if I am a guest and then asked to provide my room key as proof.

I think its important that people understand what White Privilege is and acknowledge it. In the Pride Event I attended someone made the statement, that as long as you use White Privilege as a way of helping, then it is a good thing. Otherwise we have to fight to make everyone equal. I could have lived my whole life thinking that I am treated the way I am because I am a nice person... but that's not the reality. The reality is that I am White and some of the interactions are not authentic...and they are not because I am nice. 

Class Consciousness and LGBTQ

Its not until you start talking about class that you realize that people just don't really talk about class. You don't hear people going around saying "I'm middle class" or "I'm lower class". And you especially don't hear people saying "I'm gay and upper class." So while our dialogue in Class Consciousness: Intersections of Class and LGBTQ Identity had a strong leaning towards talking about class without sexual identity, it still really made me think. I am highlighting the areas that I have been thinking a lot about since I left on Thursday.

Spokesperson: One of the student facilitators of the discussion asked the question "How many LGBTQ spokespeople are out there? Can you identify one?" It took a while before anyone really spoke up. Names of gay celebrities popped through my head; Nathan Lane, Ellen DeGeneres, KD Lang, Melissa Ethridge, Elton John, Andrew Sullivan. But there is a difference between being gay and being a spokesperson and I honestly cannot recall a household celebrity name being a spokesperson for the LGBTQ community. Someone brought up an excellent point however, and that was if there was a spokesperson, would that person be the "token" insert adjectives here and not really able to speak for every voice in the LGBTQ community.  We talked about how because of television when people think of gay, they think of upper-class-gay-white-males, like Will from Will and Grace.

Youth and Homelessness: People do not think of the teens that become homeless because their families kick them out (did you know there is 1.6 million homeless teens, of which between 20-40% are LGBTQ.). Since the teens are on the streets, they are either turning to sex for money to be able to survive, or they are turning to crime. Turning to a shelter is only a temporary option, and as someone pointed out, some shelters will turn you away if you self-identify as LGBTQ either because of religious affiliations, or because they make up excuses about crime (because we all know that if you are gay, you are automatically attracted to every person of the same sex and will rape them---sarcasm alert). And if they are arrested and sent to jail, it is the start of a cycle.

Employment: In our discuss we touched on how people do not consider that in some counties, states even, being gay is not protected and you can loose your job if you were to come out. One day you have everything, and the next day you have nothing because you openly admit who you are. My roommate is a perfect example because Prince William County is one of those counties that does not adhere to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, so he could have lost his job as a teacher if he were to come out, and probably would not have gotten his job if he admitted he was gay when he started. He now works in Arlington where there is a non-discrimination policy for sexual orientation. Not to mention what a transperson would go through if they were to go through the transition. Would the health care the employer provides (if provided) cover the transition?

Like I said, we really got into the class side of things more than we did the sexual orientation/ gender identity. But the conversation was heartfelt and I walked out of there feeling energized to make a difference.